I won't waste your time anymore. I like how I was before being with him. So closed, and proud. I hate people, he knows. He gave me the chance to love another world that wasn't mine. I stopped loving myself. I feel so lonely without him, I'm sure he knows, but I don't regret. I've learned a big amount of things that I've never found interesting at all. I swallowed my pride again and again, specially when I heard my thoughts were stupid. I always hated going out and spending a lot in alcohol, I hated going to dance, I hated speaking about cars. But the only thing that made me feel well was him. He was so cute.
Nowadays I wonder why it took me that long to realize I wasn't happy doing these things. I remember when I though to travel with him and pay him an hotel. I remember when I gave him mi NDS. I remember drawing his face with watercolors and feeling so happy.
Those things I like, I left them apart, as my pride, just for being with him (even the music!...). And that things called hobbies, I did it when I was alone. But I felt well, because I loved him even more than myself. I did love him that much that I can't stop crying thinking in my feeling's decay. I wasted myself expecting to hear him speaking well of me. I expected a lot of things and now I have the footprints in my heart. It pains.
I know he loved me a lot, I know. I really hope he will be happy soon, I hope he forget these feelings. I want him to smile and be even happier than he had been with me.
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And I lost in the sadness of his eyes. I can't love him anymore, but I still love him. My pride provides me my own happiness and my own disgrace. I hate myself for driving him that pain inside.
